My activities for the month of stardate 19905 are/is

[Smucky]

Behind at work. So got turbo mode enabled for today. Hopefully my battered butthole can endure a prolonged sitting session

I created one jira ticket today. That is all.

[NinjaPoodle]

That ticket is about feeding your horse.

[Crawdaddy79]

Title: Horse needs to be fed.
Description: Horse needs food.
Impact: Horse will be an asshole until it finally dies if it is not fed.
Resolution: Horse fed.
Ticket status: Closed.

[Smucky]

Title: Horse needs to be fed.
Description: Horse needs food.
Impact: Horse will be an asshole until it finally dies if it is not fed.
Resolution: Horse fed.
Ticket status: Closed.

Kind of hate it when people do jiras like that.

"As a user I want this bug fixed"
"Replication steps: click page, click other page"
"Expected result: stuff work good"

[Smucky]

But anyway, the jira wasn't for horses but for random slowness running mysql queries.

Screenshot_20240717_213132.png (25.27 KiB) Viewed 108 times

The same 5 or so queries are executed nearly 100k times every day. Normally taking less than 0.5ms (yes, half a millisecond). Then there are random periods 1-2 minutes in duration where they start taking 1-80 seconds. I made a jira with all kind of chart screenshots, graphs etc. Hand this to the DBAs this morning and they only say I should "run the explain plan to see why it is slow"
Insufferable people, dealing with a horse is easier than this

[Smucky]

Plus had a bunch of errands to run today. And my wife is due her weekly insemination but I don't have time for that either

[Smucky]

Man so horny. Must inseminate something soon.

[Smucky]

Ah, that's better

[Smucky]

Blah. Was going to work late tonight but then had the sewer line get choked up with layers of butter or something. Had to go through the septic tank to get to it.

Really gay.

[Smucky]

Look for the condoms

[NinjaPoodle]

Blah. Was going to work late tonight but then had the sewer line get choked up with layers of butter or something. Had to go through the septic tank to get to it.

Really gay.
PXL_20240720_054258133.jpg

You have septic tanks in Oklahoma?

[Smucky]

Oh yes

[Smucky]

Going to go pick up a pressure washer/sewer jetter type thing. Don't text and drive.

[Smucky]

Taking this jetter back. I didn't take any pictures of the process cuz I was too covered in crap.

[NinjaPoodle]

Can poop now?

[Smucky]

Pimpin in the tib

[Smucky]

Pimpin in the tib
PXL_20240721_030647695.jpg

Same for tonight.

[Smucky]

About to drop the kids off at a bus to go to some kind of "summer camp" thing. Then me and the wife are going to walk around the house naked all week

Can't wait to see what happens

[NinjaPoodle]

With you or the kids?

[Smucky]

Haha. Don't care about the kids.

[NinjaPoodle]

Imagine the idea that you send off your kids to some very questionable "summer camp" just so that you can perv.

[NinjaPoodle]

Hopefully this summer camp has something to do with horses.

[Smucky]

There is horse riding

[Smucky]

What emoji reaction should I use for this customer support request?

Screenshot_20240722_164904.png (20.48 KiB) Viewed 71 times

[NinjaPoodle]

Why the hell should someone pay to send dick pics. Shouldn't it be the other way around, she pays for the dick pics.