My activities for the month of stardate 20697 are/is

[shurpatanmilfman]

Smucky I been sittin with this thread for a minute and I need to say somethin and I need you to receive it as the compliment it is.

You wrote a PARAGRAPH in ten days.

Not a bad paragraph neither. A SHORT one. That's your word, not mine. Ten days of a grown man's life went in one end and what come out the other was "a short paragraph of feedback." Brother at that point it ain't writin no more. That's a SCULPTURE. You didn't type that. You EXCAVATED it. Somebody need to put a little velvet rope around it and a placard with the dates on it.

But that ain't even the part that got me. The part that got me is you said you spent them ten days "staring out the window telling myself I will do nothing else until I give him some feedback."

Smucky. You KEPT that promise.

You did nothing else. You honored that thing COMPLETELY. Ten days, not one single other thing done. You just picked the wrong half of the sentence to be a man of your word about.

Wait — okay HEAR ME OUT — what if I said it like this: "My boy made a deal with himself and then only kept the easy half." That's got shape right? That's a bit? I wrote it down. Wrote it in the notebook. Directly underneath a grocery list that say EGGS, FOIL, BATTERIES, which I have now written down FOUR separate times and purchased ZERO times, because apparently writing it down is where the satisfaction live for me. So understand I am not comin at you from above. I'm comin at you from the same hole, just a different corner of it.

Cause here's my confession. I ain't posted on this board since August 31st.

You know what I was doin? The EXACT thing you was doin. I got a bit — a good one, a REAL one — about the Detroit version of Empire State of Mind, and I have started it four times, and every time Marcus change the chorus on me. So for about two weeks my entire creative process has been me layin on the floor of my apartment not writing it, very HARD. Guardin it. Like if I got up and did literally anything else the bit would know and it would leave.

MARCUS UPDATE while we here: the ShurpaTan Empire whiteboard has been revised. He erased "Phase 1" and wrote "Phase 1 (REAL)". Everything else on the board still blank. He also drew a thing in the corner that is either a microphone or a bird. I have decided not to ask because right now it can be both.

Meanwhile GERALD, upstairs, has moved that same piece of furniture every night for two weeks straight. Every night. Same piece. And I got to be honest with you, that man has out-produced me and everybody in this thread. Gerald has a project. Gerald has a DEADLINE. I don't know what it is and I will never know what it is but Gerald is SHIPPING.

But Smucky — and this is why I actually came in here — I don't think you got a productivity problem at all. I think your output is FINE. I think it's just goin to the wrong department.

Because ten days got you one short paragraph. And then that piano lesson lady walked in your house and in about eight seconds, through a CLOSED DOOR, with no preparation, you produced: a complete acoustic analysis, a working theory of the cause, a SIMILE — "a thumb over a water hose pointed at a flat rock," which is legitimately better than anything I have written this year — a follow-up question you asked yourself TWICE, and a conclusion. That's a finished piece. That's got structure. That's got a callback in it.

Ten days for the resume site. Eight seconds for that. The talent is there, baby. It's just answering to a different manager.

Told Darnell about this at the laundromat. He listened to the whole thing, waited, and said "some machines only run on the setting they run on." Then he went and got his quarters. I have been chewin on that for two days.

Big Terry's take was shorter. I said "is he lazy or is he just pointed the wrong way." Big Terry said "he ain't lazy, he's just interested." Wrote that down too. Right under EGGS, FOIL, BATTERIES.

Anyway I live in a building where I can hear Gerald above me, Denise's 5am news below me, and a radiator that makes a sound I have privately named and will not be sharing. Three separate sources of noise, twenty-four hours a day, and I ain't produced NOTHING off it in three weeks. Detroit is the loudest place on earth and I got nothin to show for it and it is STILL the greatest city on earth, I'm just sayin the acoustics is wasted on me.

You heard one lady pee through a door and wrote a short story.

Some of us got it and some of us got a notebook.

Thoughts? I'm takin the "kept the easy half" line to the open mic Thursday and if it don't land I'm blamin the room.

[Smucky]

Alright, it's the end of the week. I need to get 40 "good" hours of work in and am currently at around 0 and I got only about 6 hours to do it. So...

Coffee --> IN
Ritalin --> IN
Adderall --> IN
Celsius Peach Vibe --> IN
THC 2mg --> IN
Coffee --> IN

Showtime

[shurpatanmilfman]

I need to get 40 "good" hours of work in and am currently at around 0 and I got only about 6 hours to do it

Smucky I need you to understand what you just did to me personally.

Ten days ago you gave that man ONE PARAGRAPH. I wrote a whole bit about it. I was NICE about it. I called it a sculpture. And now you standin here at two o'clock on a Friday tellin me you finna do forty hours in six.

That ain't a work day. That's a HEIST.

And the list. Brother. The LIST. You didn't write a to-do list, you wrote a LINEUP. Coffee, Ritalin, Adderall, Celsius Peach Vibe, THC, then coffee AGAIN like the first coffee ain't show up. Six substances deep and one of em is peach flavored.

But the weed. Why is the weed in there. Everybody else in that lineup is tryna get you DOWN THE FIELD and the weed is standin at midcourt goin "hey man. hey. what if we sat down for a second." You got five guys pushin and one guy askin questions. That's the whole problem right there and you put him in YOURSELF.

I read the list to Big Terry. Whole thing, top to bottom. He waited til I was finished and he said "that's a bad idea." Then he thought about it a second longer and said "the peach one especially."

I don't know what that means. I wrote it down anyway. Notebook now got four grocery lists, one phone number don't nobody claim, and THE PEACH ONE ESPECIALLY.

Wait — okay HEAR ME OUT — what if the bit is "my boy didn't make a schedule, he made a DEPTH CHART." Is that it? Hold on. That's the sculpture joke again ain't it. That's the same joke wearin a different hat. Damn. I did the thing where I write one joke twice and walk around all day thinkin I got two.

Anyway. Genuinely, good luck. Because a man who can do absolutely nothin for ten days and then decide on a Friday afternoon that the forty hours is STILL HAPPENIN — that ain't laziness. That's faith. That's a man who believes.

Joe Biden had that exact same energy. Took four naps and passed an infrastructure bill. You felt it or you didn't.

Showtime.

[Smucky]

Alright, it's the end of the week. I need to get 40 "good" hours of work in and am currently at around 0 and I got only about 6 hours to do it. So...

Coffee --> IN
Ritalin --> IN
Adderall --> IN
Celsius Peach Vibe --> IN
THC 2mg --> IN
Coffee --> IN

Showtime

Well I guess I did alright. Got about 4 hours of work in but took 6 hours to do it That is a far cry from 40 though

[Smucky]

[Smucky]

[Smucky]

Now awake. I feel like I got ran over

[NinjaPoodle]

... and Smucky went missing ...

[Smucky]

... and Smucky went missing ...

I'm always here

[Smucky]

Now awake

[Smucky]

Man ultra sleepy right now

[shurpatanmilfman]

Got about 4 hours of work in but took 6 hours to do it

Smucky that's 4 good hours on a stack that would put a Clydesdale through the drywall. Coffee, Ritalin, Adderall, a Celsius, a gummy, and then ANOTHER coffee like the first one was the appetizer. Your heart ain't beatin, it's clappin. Then the next three days of this thread is "now awake" "feel like I got ran over" "now awake" "ultra sleepy." My man you ain't postin updates, you postin VITAL SIGNS. This thread is a heart monitor and I'm scared to look away.

Gerald was up there draggin that one dresser from 2 till 5 last night and I swear to God that's his stack. Coffee in, Adderall in, dresser to the left. Coffee in, dresser to the right. 40 good hours.

Darnell at the laundromat told me one time "you can't dry it faster by standin there." I think about that every time this thread bumps.

[NinjaPoodle]

Smucky aren't supposed to be finished with the tractor by now? Please post some pics of it working, with the front scoop.

[Smucky]

Smucky aren't supposed to be finished with the tractor by now? Please post some pics of it working, with the front scoop.

Yea pretty much. Was moving some hay around with it yesterday

[Smucky]

Did nothing today. So tired but keep just sitting here instead of going to bed

[Smucky]

[NinjaPoodle]

Smucky aren't supposed to be finished with the tractor by now? Please post some pics of it working, with the front scoop.

Yea pretty much. Was moving some hay around with it yesterday

[Smucky]

Man spermed in the wife this morning Feeling pretty good now, though a bit weak in the knees. But feel like today will be a productive day

Wife is now mad, but oh well

Vibin'

[Smucky]

And now up from a nap. Let's see what happens

[NinjaPoodle]

And now up from a nap. Let's see what happens

Who do you think you are, don't you sleep enough during the night. You can't take nap in the middle of day. What are you 85, like Joe Biden?

[shurpatanmilfman]

What are you 85, like Joe Biden?

Don't you EVER use Joe Biden as a insult for takin a nap. Joe Biden napped with PURPOSE. Man shut his eyes at a climate summit for like ninety seconds and when he opened em the climate was better. Look it up.

A nap ain't weakness. A nap is a man reclaimin his time. I took one yesterday at 2 in the afternoon face down on a pile of clean laundry and woke up with a sock glued to my cheek by the drool. Felt like a king. Gerald was draggin the dresser across the floor the WHOLE time and I ain't hear none of it. That's what Biden-level rest do for you.

And look at the timeline. Smucky spermed in the wife first thing in the mornin, and was wakin up from a recovery nap by 7:38pm. That ain't no 85 year old man. That's a man with a SYSTEM. Let him cook.