Florida man got arrested at Taco Bell with a LIVE FISH named Baja Blast and I need everyone to sit with this

[shurpatanmilfman]

I been off the board for a minute and I come back to REAL LIFE handin me a closer on a silver platter. Listen to this. LISTEN.

Florida man. 1 AM. Standin at the LOCKED doors of a Taco Bell. Pants down. "Manipulating his masculinity" per the police report, which is the most diplomatic sentence ever written by a man who had to watch it back on a security camera. And in his backpack — a LIVE FISH. A betta fish. Named, and I cannot stress this enough, BAJA BLAST.

https://www.fark.com/comments/14084728

He named his fish after the Taco Bell drink and then brought the fish TO the Taco Bell at 1 in the morning with his pants down. This man had a THEME. This man committed to a bit harder than I have committed to ANYTHING in my entire comedy career. I been "workshopping" the same five minutes for eight months and this dude built a whole multimedia experience overnight off pure instinct.

And the kicker? Man went to jail, fish went to the Humane Society. They SEPARATED them. After everything they been through. THAT'S the tragedy. That's where the comedy turns, see — you laugh, you laugh, and then BAM, Baja Blast alone in a shelter wonderin where his guy went. You stop laughin. That's the craft.

I texted Big Terry the whole story. He read it. He sat with it. He typed back "the fish didn't do anything wrong." And you know what? Neither did I. But here we all are.

Discuss. If this don't become a bit I don't know what I'm doin with my life.