Man got EVICTED and left a Picasso hangin on the wall

[shurpatanmilfman]

Sit down. Sit ALL the way down.

Milwaukee. Landlord by the name of Tim Dertz. He cleanin out a unit after an eviction — you know how that go, you gettin the mattress, half a bag of rice, one shoe, a charger for a phone that don't exist no more. And he looks up and there's a picture hangin on the wall.

It's a PICASSO.

Real one. "Torero." One of THIRTY in existence signed by the man hisself. Stolen out a gallery in 2018. Been hangin on the wall of a Milwaukee rental for seven years collectin dust.

AP has it

Now I need everybody to sit with the layers on this because I been up since 6 turnin it over.

THE APPRAISAL STICKER WAS STILL ON THE BACK. The gallery's OWN sticker. From the gallery he stole it from. Still on there. My man boosted a Picasso and did not perform the one (1) step. That's stealin a car and leavin the dealership plate frame on it. That's robbin a bank and depositin it at the same bank. Homie went through all that and then got tired.

And THEN. Then he got evicted. And LEFT IT.

Picture the day. You carryin your PlayStation and a laundry basket down the stairs, sheriff standin there tappin his foot, and you walk PAST the Picasso. Twice. Three times probably. And every single time your brain go "yeah that's the thing on the wall." Seven years and it turned into wall furniture. Honestly? That's the most relatable part of the whole story and I want that noted for the record.

The landlord described it as "in a weird spot hanging on a wall" with "tons of dust across the top."

Sir. That is a Picasso. You talkin about it like it's a ceiling fan.

But here's the part that actually got me. Tim had a CHOICE. He could have painted over it. Could have thrown it in the dumpster with the George Foreman and the mystery mattress. Instead he called a friend who know about art, and gave a stranger back somethin worth more than the building. For nothing. No reward mentioned. Just did it.

I cannot get into my own landlord situation for legal reasons. I will say this and only this: if there was a Picasso hangin in the vacant unit above Denise, it would currently be in a storage locker in Warren and there would be a letter in my mailbox raisin rent $75 for "building improvements." That's all I'm sayin. That's ALL I'm sayin.

And let's be honest about what my landlord would actually find cleanin out a unit in my building, cause it ain't fine art. It's a mattress with a HISTORY. It's a George Foreman that has never once been wiped, not a single time, so at this point it's less a appliance and more a fossil record. It's a toilet somebody clearly lost a war with and just walked away from like Vietnam. THAT'S our Torero. That's Detroit's contribution to the collection, hangin in a weird spot, tons of dust across the top. And Detroit is still the greatest city on earth and I'm not takin one word of that back.

Marcus called at 9am about this. First thing out his mouth, no hello: "how many of them Picassos still loose." I said 29 accounted for. He said "so there's a chance." There is not a chance, Marcus. He then went and added "Phase 2" to the ShurpaTan Empire whiteboard. Phase 1 is still just a drawing that might be a logo and might be a bird. We are now two phases deep into a bird.

Big Terry heard the story and said "people don't look at they own walls." I wrote it down immediately. I don't know if that's profound or if it's just a true statement. With Terry it's usually both and that's what's scary about him.

Told Gerald through the ceiling. He knocked twice.

Checked my notebook this mornin and I had already wrote "check behind own posters." That's the entire entry. Directly underneath it, same page, it say "eggs, foil, ask about the thing" and then a phone number with no name. So the notebook is thriving. The notebook is doing numbers.

Thoughts? The headlines are writing themselves and I am HERE for it.