My failures as a father thread

[Smucky]

Well I let him, but mother made him come back in

[NinjaPoodle]

My son is terrified of thunderstorms at night. But right now, a thunderstorm is rolling in and he wants to run outside and hide under a metal hay trough because he says "I'll be safe and dry under there". Should I let him?

Of course you should let him. It doesn't protect him from space lasers though. You need to paint the roof blue first.

[Smucky]

Dude just asked "if two women get married, do they both get pregnant?". I was going to yell "NO" but then I start thinking...

[Smucky]

My son has informed me that he thinks some Pokemon are cute.

[Smucky]

Shit

[NinjaPoodle]

My son has informed me that he thinks some Pokemon are cute.

So, I don't get it. It's stupid cartoon.

[Smucky]

Dude just asked "if two women get married, do they both get pregnant?". I was going to yell "NO" but then I start thinking...

I think he is trying to figure it out. Should I help him?

I tell him that I can see everything he does on the computer. But he is too retarded to believe me.

[Williamson]

Fug, I'll beat my meat to thata shit

[NinjaPoodle]

Porn with FNAF animatronic Chica, this is really horror cranked up to 11. I hope they make a game about it.

[Smucky]

He continually spends too much time in the shower. I tell him time and time again to make it 7 minutes and give him a timer. Timer goes off, but it apparently means nothing. Yesterday he ran the water for a 4 full minutes before he even got in there. The water was running from 9:10 to 9:27. Pisses me off. Spent a ton of time digging for automated shower timers and stuff. Or even those commercial push button things where you push the button and get a 10 second stream. But really couldn't find anything. I did find the Acqua Tempus to be pretty cool though. But I don't have a good way to mount it. It apparently recharges its batteries via water powered turbine (but that requires 2+gpm of water flow). But also expensive at $300.

I guess I'll just go back old school. Usually around 8:30pm I'm out of my office and digging for a snack. I'll tell him then to jump in the shower, but I'll hold on to the timer and give him 2 minutes, otherwise it will be a stick beating. Pretty sure he doesn't use soap either, so the whole process is a waste either way. Everything he does must be micro-micro managed

[NinjaPoodle]

What's the problem, you live in a desert hardly any water?

Females can use the shower for 30 minutes and use the water stream on you know where.

[Smucky]

What's the problem, you live in a desert hardly any water?

Females can use the shower for 30 minutes and use the water stream on you know where.

I'd rather the water go to my lawn. Also it is just the principle of things. Dude does nothing but waste time (and water)

[NinjaPoodle]

Why having kids at all when your biggest concern is that they consume resources?

[Smucky]

Why having kids at all when your biggest concern is that they consume resources?

Because nuttin in pussy feel that good