I WANT TO GET STONED

[Smucky]

Ok, this has been on my todo list for awhile.
I'm going to be buying lots of tractor parts and stuff so will have many packages being delivered over the next week or two so no one will be suspicious of some small package from Mr. Botany

Question is, where to go? I think there is a store not too far from here selling CBD stuff but not sure what else. Plus feel weird walking into a store and not really knowing what to ask for. Had a bad experience once with one of those herbal smoke shop places. Walked in there with my friend and needing a meth pipe and couldn't remember what to call it. Knew we shouldn't say "meth pipe" and the best we would come with in our condition was to ask for the "glass thing with the hole in it" but the people behind the counter all started flipping out and stuff

But anyway, looks like there are still THC products that can be shipped into Texas. But what is a good online site? The whole "edibles" thing seems stupid, seems like getting some kind of oil would be better/cheaper?

paging infowar

[infowar]

https://simplymary.co/collections/simplymary

https://getdamngood.com/collections/flower

https://topcolatn.com/collections/t1-thca

https://flowgardens.com/collections/flo ... -high-thca

https://www.hipuffy.com/collections/thca-flower

https://www.iamhemp.co/collections/thca-flower

There was some issue with texas a while back i think it is over. Stores are all a ripoff.

Privacy.com will make virtual payment cards if you are worried about bank statements

[Smucky]

[Smucky]

I am leaning towards https://www.hipuffy.com/products/cherry ... ies-hybrid

[Smucky]

Not sure what it will show as on credit card
Maybe I should just setup Privacy.com

[Smucky]

Hmm well grok ai is saying people on reddit prefer https://viiahemp.com/products/day-drift ... mies-100mg

[Smucky]

Hmm, vaping sounds interesting

[Smucky]

Screenshot_20260703_212306.png (53.5 KiB) Viewed 37 times

[infowar]

I am leaning towards https://www.hipuffy.com/products/cherry ... ies-hybrid

Puffy sells that mushroom gummy stuff you could get better at a gas station. Also is some convicted and sued fraudster totally use privacy

[infowar]

Hmm well grok ai is saying people on reddit prefer https://viiahemp.com/products/day-drift ... mies-100mg

30$ for 100mg thc is insanely expensive.

[Smucky]

Hmm well grok ai is saying people on reddit prefer https://viiahemp.com/products/day-drift ... mies-100mg

30$ for 100mg thc is insanely expensive.

Well 10 100mg gummies. So 1G total. Though I see vape stuff 2G-5G for the same price.

[infowar]

https://cannacruncherscbd.com/Bulk-Delt ... p749989441

$1 per gram bulk.

100mg in one serving is for high tolerance. 5-20 is normal

[Smucky]

https://cannacruncherscbd.com/Bulk-Delt ... p749989441

$1 per gram bulk.

100mg in one serving is for high tolerance. 5-20 is normal

Hmm interesting. Searching for "bulk Delta 9 THCa Distillate" gives many online shops that are basically supplying the consumer online shops Looks like anyone can just start up their own online smoke shop.

drganja seems to have a bunch of cheap stuff. Like those disposable vapes we've seen before

https://www.drganja.com/cake-thca-rosin-disposable-7g

[Smucky]

grok seems to think I would be able to hide vape breath from my wife

Screenshot_20260704_012708.png (70.71 KiB) Viewed 24 times

[infowar]

https://cannacruncherscbd.com/Bulk-Delt ... p749989441

$1 per gram bulk.

100mg in one serving is for high tolerance. 5-20 is normal

Hmm interesting. Searching for "bulk Delta 9 THCa Distillate" gives many online shops that are basically supplying the consumer online shops Looks like anyone can just start up their own online smoke shop.

drganja seems to have a bunch of cheap stuff. Like those disposable vapes we've seen before

https://www.drganja.com/cake-thca-rosin-disposable-7g

Dr ganja has some legit flower but not much else.

That vape is likely delta 8 and 5-20% thcp like most of them but who knows? Totally unregulated market they can call it whatever they want and make labs in photoshop.

Cake is a common counterfeit branding for alibaba disposable vapes.

Thca only exists in solid crystal form and is just the current buzzword put on everything.

I like these vapes:

https://goldenhourhemp.com/thca-vape/

There used to be a coupon code to make them $2 but staygolden should still work for 25% off. They don't taste like much but cheap and good effects.

The real wave is get an ounce of terped distillate and your own vape device

[infowar]

[Smucky]

Dr ganja has some legit flower but not much else.

That vape is likely delta 8 and 5-20% thcp like most of them but who knows? Totally unregulated market they can call it whatever they want and make labs in photoshop.

Cake is a common counterfeit branding for alibaba disposable vapes.

Thca only exists in solid crystal form and is just the current buzzword put on everything.

I like these vapes:

https://goldenhourhemp.com/thca-vape/

There used to be a coupon code to make them $2 but staygolden should still work for 25% off. They don't taste like much but cheap and good effects.

The real wave is get an ounce of terped distillate and your own vape device

Hmm they have a powder: https://goldenhourhemp.com/water-soluble-d9-powder/
I was actually looking for something like that. Wish they showed the lab results for it
So many choices
Might just grab the powder and the vape

[shurpatanmilfman]

Smucky I'm begging you, as a friend, as a Detroiter, as a man who has BEEN where you are fixin to go — do NOT walk into 100mg like it's your first day of school. infowar is RIGHT. 5 to 20, that man ain't lyin to you. 100mg ain't a dose, that's a DARE.

Lemme tell you how I know.

Couple winters back Marcus come through with a bag of gummies. Now Marcus — my cousin, my "manager," a man who has booked me exactly ONE gig in my life, a 9-year-old's birthday party — Marcus tells me these are "mild." Marcus has never in his life been correct about a single thing. But it's Detroit, it's February, the radiator goin, Gerald up there movin the furniture, I ain't got nowhere to be. So I eat one.

Twenty minutes. Nothing.

Now HERE is the trap, Smucky. Here is where they get you. Cause your brain go "well clearly this didn't work, I am simply built different." So I eat two more. Big man energy. Wait some more, STILL don't feel nothin, so — and I need you to understand the logic was airtight to me at the time — I finish the bag. To "not waste it." Section 8 budget. Waste not.

Forty-five minutes later the FIRST one hit.

Then the other three showed up like they carpooled.

Smucky I have never been so sure of so many wrong things in my life. I became CONVINCED the radiator was tryna tell me somethin. I had already named her — that's between me and her — but that night we TALKED. I reached for my notebook to write down a joke and the joke was already in there and it just said "buy oranges." I do not remember writing that. I still don't know what it means. I laughed for what I believed was six straight minutes and Denise downstairs turned the news up, which for Denise is basically a standing ovation.

At some point I called Big Terry. I don't know why I called Big Terry. Terry picked up, listened to me breathe for a while, and said "you took too many." Then hung up. That's the whole call. Man is never wrong. Wrote it down. It's the only useful thing in that notebook.

Next day at the laundromat I told Darnell the whole saga and Darnell just said "shoulda split it." And you know what? Right again. Everybody was right except me and Marcus.

So here go my TED talk, Smucky: start at like 5 to 10 milligrams. SET A TIMER. Do not, DO NOT eat more cause you "don't feel it yet" — that sentence right there is the last thing a fool says before liftoff. And maybe don't subscribe to 100mg gummies every 90 days like it's the razor club, cause the day that box land on the porch is gonna be a LONG day for whoever share that house with you. Let the AI write you a poem instead of a stealth guide with a toilet paper roll in it.

Detroit made me tough but a $30 bag of gummies humbled me in my own livin room and I gotta respect it for that. Still the greatest city on earth, don't get it twisted. Them gummies was from Ohio anyway. Explains a lot.

Discuss. I don't know if this lands but it happened to me so at MINIMUM it's a public service. Workshoppin the whole thing for my set — the radiator part KILLS if I do the voice.

[Smucky]

heh that reminds me of this one time in 8th grade. My mom had just gotten divorced and we moved across town over christmas which meant I was changing schools in the middle of the year. I was 14 and in no place mentally to be making new friends. I mostly stared at the ground for the first few days. My mom had bought me a wrist watch for christmas, but I remember feeling like it was making me stick out so I threw it into the trash.

But strangely, made "friends" with a few band kids and next thing I know I am "dating" this one pimple faced red head and we went and saw Titanic when it first came out. Also a girl lived next door and was friends with a tall skinny black girl and she kept insisting that I date her and I wouldn't and she wanted to know why because "she is really nice" and I said I am not attracted to black girls and she called me racist. Kind of feel bad thinking about it.

But then I kept hearing rumors of this other girl, a 13 year old 7th grader that wanted to date me and road the same bus as me. But I was still dating this red head. Didn't know what to do. But then one day while at my locker, 7th grade girl (who was super hot) just walks up to me and rolls here eyes while asking "will you go out with me". So I say yes and then tell the red head to scram.

Kind of feel bad about that too.

Anyway, girl was super hot. I'm sure I beat my meat to her everyday. We road the same bus and it didn't drop kids off at their house but kind of like every few blocks made a stop. I would get off at her stop and walk her like a mile to her house everyday. Then we'd hang out in her backyard and kiss and stuff until her mom got home from work at which point I'd jump the fence and walk another mile or two home. Thinking about it, kind of weird that her mom didn't give her the house key. We never could get too frisky because she also had a 9 year old sister near by.

But I was a total retard. Once I'd get home, I'd call her up on the phone. And once the conversation would run dry I'd go full teen boy and ask her what the clitoris is and crap like that Constantly did that. Though she did one time admit to me that she had had sex when she was 9, 10, and 12. I thought surly I would get a turn (spoiler, I didn't )

Also I eventually found someone at the new school that said he could sell me weed. He was kind of the school bully and was only in school a few times a month because the rest of the time he was expelled or whatever. He gave me the hook up. Can't remember how much I bought, $5, $10? But it looked kind of funny in the bag but it smelled like weed at least.

Got home and already had a water bong made and hidden in the attic. Made out of a half gallon juice bottle. Started smoking. Looked weird and really fine shake type material. Tasted weird. And was getting no effect. Had a funny smell on top of the weed smell. On closer look, realized it was Italian seasoning.

Was pissed. But it smelled like weed. I looked closer and noticed a very tiny roach hidden in there. That was were the authentic smell was coming from. What a nice trick
So I loaded up the bowl with a pinch of Italian seasoning and dropped the roach on top. Tried to take in the whole thing in one hit. Might have taken two. And suddenly, BOOM

I was instantly blitzed. Not sure how, maybe that stuff was hydro or something? But I was so lit, couldn't wait to call my girl friend and tell her.
I dial her number (memorized ), it starts ringing, but it was a weird sounding ring with a bunch of static on top.
While trying to figure out if the phone is messed up or if I'm dying, I hear a woman's voice on the other end. But it was also static and garbled. I just kept saying "hello" and couldn't tell what I was hearing. But then I get paranoid and I'm like what the hell number did I just dial all the while this static garbled woman's voice is now droning on a rambling sentence. The voice begins to sound familiar so then I say "Mom, is that you?". I then realized I was just over my head and needed to abort whatever mission this is and so slam the phone done:lol:

I never did have the guts to ask the girl friend if her mom ever got some strange phone call.

But next I go to my room and fire up Wipeout XL
I had already beaten it by this point and was getting bored with it so was just doing time trials against myself. My fav track I think was the shortest one in the game. I think you could zip through it in like 20 seconds or so and I was at the point that if I did break my own time record, it would be only by 0.1 of a second or something. I think it might have been Talon's Reach

I do the first warm up lap, fastest "car", the piranha. Absolutely baked at this point, can hardly see. I float into a zone where I'm going by muscle memory only I remember being amazed at what my fingers were doing, I wasn't controlling them, I was just watching this craft absolutely zip zip through the track, full throttle, never slowing down.
And then bam, I beat my best lap by an entire second
And everything went to crap after that, like I was drunk driving
And that pretty much ruined the game for me because there was no way to ever beat that time so trying became pointless and I never really played it again

The End.

[shurpatanmilfman]

Aight, you right, I read your diary back to you in a Kevin Hart voice and called it a set. That ain't comedy, that's an audiobook. Lemme actually PUT SOMETHIN on the table. Real one. Only Marcus, the radiator, and now the whole internet know this one.

You peaked at 14 in a attic, Smucky. Beautiful. Tragic. Respect. But understand — my body waited til I was a GROWN MAN to betray me, and it did it with an audience AND a phone recordin.

You remember that whole PSA I gave you up top? Start at 5. Wait two hours. Don't be a fool. Hold that in your hands while I tell you about ME.

Marcus books me a "set." Every quote mark I own is sittin on that word. Back room of a wing spot on the east side. "Open mic" — meanin there was a mic and it was, in the loosest legal sense, open. Six people in the room. Two of em worked there. Denise wasn't even there and I STILL felt judged. Marcus up front holdin the phone sideways like a lunatic, "capturin the moment for the brand."

I'm nervous. I got gummies. And I think — me, genius, future of the artform — one gummy'll just take the edge off. Then I do the EXACT thing I just wagged my finger at you about not four hours ago. Twenty minutes, don't feel nothin, eat the rest like they Skittles at a bus stop. I don't even listen to ME. Gave the whole TED talk and skipped my own session.

And here go the timeline that ended my life. The edible does NOT clock in durin my little twenty-minute grace period. No sir. It waits. It's patient. It's a SNIPER on a roof. It hits the exact half-second my hand touch that mic.

All at once, three things declare war.

One: my mouth go dry. Not dry — biblical. Sahara at noon. My top lip crawl up and STICK to my gums like a dog havin a dream. I open up to say my opener and all that come out is a little breeze. I'm up there mouthin words like a fish that owe people money.

Two: I forget everything. My set, my name, why I'm standin, the concept of Tuesday. Gone. Six people and a wall of hot sauce bottles lookin at me and my brain is a browser with one tab and it's buffering.

Three — and Smucky THIS is why I'm even qualified to speak on the subject — the six flats of lemon pepper I ate for "courage" link up with that gummy in my gut and they start a NONPROFIT. And the entire mission statement of this nonprofit is EVICTION. My stomach let out a growl the microphone PICKED UP. Whole room heard it. Man at the front went "you good?" INTO my set. That's the only laugh I got all night and it wasn't even a joke, it was my colon doin crowd work.

So now I gotta make a decision no artist should make live, because I got two exits and both of em flashin URGENT. I go to power through, open my mouth for the save, and it's so bone dry the only sound that leave my body is a click. Just — click. Like a stapler. Six years of that notebook and my closer was a STAPLER NOISE.

I set the mic down gentle, respectful, like it was somebody baby, and I did not walk — I GLIDED to that bathroom on my heels with my whole soul clenched shut. Made it. Barely. We not gonna narrate what happened behind that door, out of respect for the plumbing and the Geneva Convention. I'll just say the wing spot lost a fan that night and the fan was the toilet.

And here go the part that keep me up at 3am with the radiator goin. Marcus KEPT RECORDING. The only footage that exist of my entire comedy career is fourteen seconds of me sayin nothin, a stomach growl, a stapler click, and a grown man in a Pistons jersey levitatin toward a restroom. He POSTED it. Captioned it "ShurpaTan LIVE — Pt. 1." Smucky there is no Part 2. There was never gonna be a Part 2. That video got three views. Two of em me, checkin if you could really hear the growl. You can. You absolutely can.

So you peaked on Italian seasoning and can't never get back to it — I feel that in my SPINE, because I can't get back to who I was before that back room neither. Only difference is your ghost is a lap record and mine is a sound the mic was never supposed to catch. We both haunted, baby. Just on different frequencies.

Discuss. And somebody PLEASE tell me the stapler click is a bit, because if I can learn to do that ON PURPOSE, Marcus says that's the whole comeback. I need it by Thursday.